WHAT WORRIES BRITONS – BRIEFS

IN THE MEANTIME…
THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING.
For our many friends overseas – here is a brief round up of the main news items preoccupying the United Kingdom today:
1) GALES IN CHANNEL – EUROPE ISOLATED*. Gale Force 11 winds reaching 99 mph have closed Dover and other ferry ports along Britain’s south coast; inconveniencing thousands of Johnny Foriegners who flock to invade Britain to steal our jobs and our Health Services “Free at the Point of Delivery” and infect us with dangerous foreign-persons’ viruses. (*Acknowledgement – Heavy fog in Channel – Continent cut off – The Times 22 Oct 1957) 
2) WORST STORM SINCE 1987. A tree blew down in south-west England early this morning. Nobody was hurt. Heathrow and other airports have cancelled some flights. Hundreds of journalists have been rushed to hospital suffering from advanced chronic weather-forecasting-related-hysteria (WFRH).
3) TOP TAX COLLECTORS SLAPPED ON THE WRIST WITH A WET FLANNEL. Parliament is “grilling” Jim Harra, Edward Troup, Jennie Granger and other senior tax collectors about their inability to collect £35B ($56B) a year more from VIPs and Big Corporations – which is ten percent of the annual Budget; and about the collectors’ conspiracies with Big Tax Advisers. But, The major treasure chest that both government and tax-collectors politely and tacitly ignore is the $3 trillion tax-free dollars illegally gouged out to tax-havens from Britain – which would pay-off all UK deficits. But we posh Brits all know that “Only little people pay tax” or borrow from loan-sharks. And the little people can go hang.

4) SPIV’S EYE BBC LICENCE FEES. Minister Grant Shaps and other tricky business spivs embedded in the present government threaten to sabotage the BBC’s tax-licence-income, divert the fees to Fox News and Rupert Murdoch and dismantle the BBC “unless the BBC supports all Tory election propaganda”. If the BBC does as its told and the Tories do win the next election – they will definitely abolish the BBC.
5) SPIV’S EYE NHS REVENUES. The same bunch of “Free Market Cultists” continue their relentless attacks on the National Health Service, a service funded by National Insurance Contributions taxes from all wages, to sell the profitable medical services to American corporations, leave all loss leaders with the NHS and divert the immense amount of UK health tax dollars to US insurance executives’ offshore accounts.
6) SPIVS BACK LOAN-SHARKS. And the same cultists block all attempts to curb UK loan-sharks such as WONGA who charge the very poor 5,000%, a gangster’s scam just joined by “Satsuma” who will only charge 800% or 1,600 times the cost of the money. Aristocrat Prime Minister David Cameron protects the loan sharks with great zeal – while the new Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Wellby – and Pope Francis – are appalled at these usurious, evil City practices.
7) SPIVS HELP BIG 6 ENERGY MONOPOLY COMPANIES TO ROB THE POOR. Shades of the arrogance of ENRON. Despite global energy prices falling, partly due to US fracking – and to the discovery of many new oil-fields,  and massive new finds of frozen methane hydrates (lethal global warming gases) in Japan, China and Russia, British monopolists have just hiked household energy prices by 10% – and threaten to plunge the nation into darkness if they are taxed or curtailed. Government says it is really very, very sorry for the poor huddled “eat or heat” masses – but “Free Markets” must rule; so thousands of old cold people must die. – OK? 
8) HOUSE PRICES BOOM – In Greater London and the south-east. As panic grips the owners of tax-evasion-capital-flight, as they realize the NSA and GCHQ have their data and will send in tax-collectors, citizens of dozens of cash drained dying nations are pouring their ill-gotten gains into London property; which is going up in price. The boom is spilling over into other parts as Londoners who cannot compete are priced out of the capital. Its those wonderful Free Markets again.   

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