The latest IPCC Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report, published last week, has had its 15 minutes of fame; and the media spotlight has yawned and moved on. After all – what can we do about it? What can any nation do about it? What can the world do about it?

So what does the report say? What does this latest – YAWN – compilation by hundreds of the world’s top climate scientists; the Earth Nerds – YAWN – have to say this time? Is it as tediously complicated as the last time?

They say the climate will change. – Big Deal, Old News, They’ve said it before. Tell us something new! I like change. Stops me getting bored.

They say food production will reduce… Oh Dear, less food; just as I’m reaching a nice comfortable level of gross obesity. Will they make me hungry?
….will reduce by 2%. You had me goin’ there for a minute. Two percent doesn’t sound very much; just two less forkfuls of spaghetti at lunch – and maybe one less beefburger at the stadium. I can take the pain.

They say there will be many more extreme weather events. Weather – I like weather – Bring it on. I enjoy a good storm – a bit of chaos – a few roofs blown off – some remote forest fires a long way away – a tsunami in Japan. It makes great TV news. What else?

They say our coastal margins will suffer more floods – including seaside cities like New York, London, Los Angeles, – and all of Holland – which could displace billions of people. That’s OK too. I live on a hill, well above sea levels, and inland. Won’t get me. A few refugees is all part of the free markets; where would the US be today without the Pilgrim Fathers quitting Britain? Hey?

They say tropical diseases will spread to Europe, Asia, South America and Australia. I don’t like the sound of that! Don’t we have border guards – immigration officials. We can stop the planes …and the boats, from poor countries. Drown the diseased refugees at sea before they get here.

They say that if we do nothing Global Warming will accelerate, heating the oceans and the atmosphere by 4 or even 6 degrees; which could make many species extinct – maybe including humans. Huh. Scare tactics. It was much hotter when the dinosaurs were here – and they ruled the Earth for millions of years. It didn’t do them any harm – did it?

They say it would be better if you swapped your 4×4-SUV-Super-Armored-8mpg-Jeep that your wife takes the children to school in, for a Toyota Prius or a Fiat 500. Ha! So that’s it. Now we get to it! A communist socialist Chinese plot to rob me of my God given rights to my God given freedom – and kill my kids. I knew they had a hidden agenda! Where’s my semi-automatic 50-rounds-per-second home-defense rifle? And pass me my family-protector-flame-thrower, as well. I’ll give those Commie Bastards “Global Warming” right up their lying ass!

What will really happen? BUY THE E-BOOKS (click covers here or in the right hand margin)

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